The Big Gank Theory [UBLAP]

Our whole universe was in a hot dense state<br>Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...<br>The Earth began to cool<br>The autotrophs began to drool<br>Neanderthals developed tools<br>We built a wall (we built the pyramids)<br>Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries<br>That all started with the big gank!<br><br><br>GANK!<br>"Since the dawn of man" is really not that long<br>As every galaxy was formed in less time than it takes to sing this song.<br>A fraction of a second and the elements were made.<br>The bipeds stood up straight<br>The dinosaurs all met their fate<br>They tried to leap but they were late<br>And they all died (they froze their asses off)<br>The oceans and Pangea<br>See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya<br>Set in motion by the same big gank!<br>It all started with the big GANK!<br>It's expanding ever outward but one day<br>It will pause and start to go the other way<br>Collapsing ever inward, we won't be here, it won't be heard<br>Our best and brightest figure that it'll make an even bigger gank!<br>Australopithecus would really have been sick of us<br>Debating how we're here, they're catching deer (we're catching viruses)<br>Religion or astronomy, Encarta, Deuteronomy<br>It all started with the big gank!<br>Music and mythology, Einstein and astrology<br>It all started with the big gank!<br>It all started with the big GANK!.